In the beauty of the spring, I tend to sit in a space of relaxation that I don’t at other times of the year. Florida heat is nothing to joke about so my enjoyment and tranquility in this season, mostly comes before the heat waves of mid-June. In the moments of the breezes and blooming lilies, I sit in the sun and ask God questions starting in “why.”
A lot of people tell me not to do this. That mine is not to question or to know but I ask why so He can bring understanding to my searching soul and it seems okay between He and I when I do. I don’t feel chastised but cherished for my yearning heart. I think He likes to be sought… His will… His reasoning.
But there is a difference between “why” and “why not.”
“Why not?” insinuates a dissatisfaction for the way God is doing things in my world. “Why?” is a wonder-filled thing. It asks for more of the One Who can give you enough and then more again. He’s so full of more and I want that… more of God and His business in my life. I want His Spirit working on my behalf as I’ve dedicated to serve Him in His goodness. I don’t want Him to feel questioned where negative connotation is concerned, I just want Him to see me as I am, extremely curious about what this is all about… 1st, 2nd, and 3rd heaven, seemingly filled with MORE to be revealed to me.
When asking “why” or more so, “why not?” out of anxiety or fear, the enemy is given room for attack. That I agree with. Please wait to ask the Lord a question if it is rooted and tied to these characteristics that are not divine. Wait. Wait on the Lord and only ask Him to set you FREE from those nicks in your spiritual armor. Maybe you’ll stop the enemy in his tracks before he has the chance to jab you at your core…
But just in case, allow the Father, the great physician, to heal your wounds before asking the questions.
I say this from my own experiences, so yes it is my opinion, but I know that I was never ready for the answers to my “whys?” when I was still hurting. It was in the breeze, the clear blue skies… that’s when I knew the peace that says, “Go ahead, ask away!”
And so I do. I sit in His great presence and I ask Him about Himself, and me, and the wonders of this world. Do I ask Him about the hard stuff, yes, but with yearning for better and not as a backlash of bitter tastes dancing on my tongue. I ask because it’s time and He’s MORE than okay with my questions. He can handle it.
Did I mention that I don’t always like the answers?
It’s true! Sometimes I stare out at the heavens like, “Really… that’s why?” but it’s in His mercy that I feel His arms slide around my skin that has begun to crawl. He has me. So no matter what the answer, I can still rest in Him and His fantastic plan. He knows so much MORE than I do about yesterday, today, and tomorrow. It’s His presence I desire, more than the answers I guess but it’s in the answers that I get to know His infallible character. His character precedes my painful life experiences and it’s in His unchanging character that I place my trust.
I sit… I bow… I ask… it’s a time of beautiful fellowship between us and it so often comes with the newness of Spring. Mug of mint tea in hand, I meet Him again, surrounded by all the green for a chat.