I’m in a bit of a transition stage right now.
Keeping in with the general history of my timeline in Japan, my expectations and my plans here have once again been adjusted by the Lord.
I am excited for the new direction it is moving in.
And let me tell you, it is new.
At this time, the Lord is leading me to push deeper into a local church here.
Many of the things that made up my ministry so far and the direction we were going have changed and now I am following more the direction of Mustard Seed.
I know this is where God wants me, for whatever reason He has.
I had a good couple rough weeks seeking Him in prayer and asking for the right next step.
I have peace about this.
God wants to teach me something through this.
I’ve already been given some leadership positions in the church and am joining an emerging fellowship of church leaders from around Japan.
But to be honest, it isn’t the path I originally wanted.
It’s not where my passion is at.
And that is really really hard for me.
I had some good time of inner turmoil. Of angst and aggravation about where God was leading me.
Why, after sending me here with a specific vision, one that I am completely and full-heartedly passionate about, has none of it come to fruition.
After two years of seeking that vision, of working for that vision, I am no closer to seeing its fruition than when I started?
So those were my questions.
That was my inner battle.
But luckily for me, my God is eternally and unendingly wise and caring and loving and merciful.
As usual, He didn’t really answer my question.
But He did point out the source of where the question had been coming from.
So Jesus of Him.
He showed me that I hadn’t really been seeking intimacy with Him.
That, instead, I’d been putting pieces of my identity in my ministries.
In my passions.
The thing is, I’ve met and heard of missionaries doing exactly what they are passionate about who are still despairing.
Who still feel no peace.
I’ve also met many people who are not doing what they are passionate about, but because they know they are doing what the Lord has called them to, their joy is unquenchable.
And I think that’s what God is trying to teach me in this season.
That it doesn’t matter what I am doing or where I am. My joy and my peace aren’t going to come from those places.
My joy and my peace come from the Lord.
So this next season, my focus is going to be pursuing Him wherever I’m at and whatever I am doing.
I am not exactly where I want to be. I am not doing exactly what I want to do.
But my God is with me, and I would rather have Him than the entire world.
Thank you, Jesus.